Ex-Husband Refuses to Release $20,000 Education Money Meant for His Daughters

A reader writes that before her divorce, her former mother-in-law gave her ex-husband $20,000 for each of their daughters, to be invested for the girls. He had assured her the money would pay for their education. Now, she says, he refuses to pay it out, and she wants to know whether the law requires him to.

The answer turns less on the promise than on what the money legally is. If the grandmother made a gift to the girls, the funds generally belong to them. In many US states, a gift to a minor is held in a custodial account under the Uniform Transfers to Minors Act, where the custodian manages the money for the child's benefit and has a legal duty to act in that child's interest. A casual assurance that the money would be "invested" does not create that duty by itself. Bank records, account titles, and any written instructions from the grandmother would matter far more. If the money was a general gift to him, or a loan, the analysis changes entirely.

The divorce decree or marital settlement is often the most important document. If it mentions the $20,000, a children's education fund, or a requirement that either parent contribute to school costs, a court can generally enforce those terms. If the decree is silent, she may have to show that the money was held in trust for the children, and that can be harder to prove without a paper trail.

Anyone in a similar situation should start by collecting records. That means the grandmother's transfer documentation, statements showing whether the money was ever deposited or invested, any texts or emails about the promise, and the final divorce papers. A family law attorney in the state where the divorce was finalized can review those documents and explain which remedies are available, which may include a motion to enforce or clarify the decree. Where there is a history of abuse, domestic violence advocates can also help plan safe communication and legal steps.

The short answer is that a verbal promise is often difficult to enforce on its own. Money legally held for children, or money addressed in a court order, is a different matter. Whether this father must pay depends on the paperwork and the jurisdiction, so a local attorney's review is the most reliable next step.